The one about DTV

Okay so we've all been hearing about the DTV switch since like 1984. Every other commercial, every hour, everyday, "Get ready for the switch! Only 2 years away!" I remember hearing '2009' and thinking "I'll have a flying car by then, I don't care about clearer TV." Well, I made a flying car out of a refrigerator and a toilet seat and the FAA threw me in jail for two months. Fine, thats fair. It crashed and I 'allegedly' killed a few people. Whatever. So the date was February 17, which anyone who is cognitive knows because it was imprinted on our skulls by the government when we were born. Anyway, those last few sentences were a result of an Opium trip. That was a lie. The date was changed by President Obama. I suppose I can't blame him. He did promise change. Damn, I'm hilarious. It was changed some time in the summer. I stopped listening because my ears were bleeding. Which doesn't matter. Because God knows as soon as I stop the bleeding, another commercial will come on. Ugh, four more months of those overly energetic 'informative' people. DTV is pissing people off. A few days ago a guy shot his TV with a shotgun, and was surrounded by a SWAT team, because he couldn't match up coaxial cables. Come on. I feel your pain. But five year olds do what you almost got yourself killed attempting. I say screw DTV. I get HDTV out of a freaking antenna. Speaking of antenna, the company which spawned from Satan's nose, Time Warner has been running commercials implying that antennas won't pick up DTV channels. (BS) To make a long story short. This DTV thing is old news and I want a flying car. SIDE NOTE: The person that designed the physics in Wii bowling must have been Puff the Magic Dragon high on LSD. I swear, the next time my bowling bowl misses a pin by a pixel, I'm going to choke a kitten.

Travis

The one about Me Being Boring and Phelps

What you see above this text is a collection of the words most used in this blog. (I'll give you the link if you want to do it yourself. But I won't post it on here. Because they aren't paying me yet. Bastards. Im still holding out.) The winners are "really, one, like, kind, time." Awesome. I'm worse than Ang Lee's "Hulk" and Nyquil combined. Great, just what I needed to propel me through the rest of the week. Its been well over a week since my last post. Oops. I've just been so busy. (I accidentally typed 'busty', which is also true) That was a lie. I sleep and eat. That's all. Im a sad individual. Okay so now that I've realized I fail as a blogger, here's a blog. Michael Phelps is in the news, for smoking weed of all things. Lets get this right straight away. I support the legalization of marijuana. It's less dangerous than alcohol and tobacco combined and it is taxable. But this dumb idiot goes to a college party and hits a bong. Firstly, it's college. Every single female college student owns a camera and carries it everywhere. Even to executions, so that her and her friends can take Myspace pictures while they wait. The fool sits in the open and smokes. Someone takes a photo and it leaks. OMFG?! What? It's on the internet? No surprise there. But my main gripe with this situation is how he's technically a criminal now, but isn't in jail. If I was photographed smoking a doobie my ass would be in jail faster than I could say "Oh I'm sorry. I was being childish. kthxbye." But because I only have 7 gold metals and he has 8 he walks free. Weak sauce! It's just because I went to that last race crazy stoned in the 70's. Again I don't think smokers are criminals. But I don't think its right when I would be in jail and he isn't because he is an olympian. And he did something totally, blatantly illegal! But Chris Brown punches his pretend girlfriend Rihanna and all hell brakes loose. He's in jail and Phelps lives to toke another day. It's probably because Brown is a rapper. Damn Tipper Gore rears her ugly head once again. So there is just another reason why I hate celebrities. If you are a celebrity, sit on a cactus. Unless you are Megan Fox. Then you can call me. I slipped my number under your door. Oh, would that violate the restraining order? 

EDIT: Just read that eight (count 'em, 8) people were arrested in relation with the Phelps deal and not Phelps himself. Let me re-phrase that. Eight people were arrested in relation to a photo of ONLY Michael Phelps smoking weed. The others weren't even in the photo, mind you. For the love of God. This is ri-damn-diculous.

Travis