The one with A Bumper Sticker & Canada

Bumper stickers. A great way to communicate your lack of refinement as a human being without having to speak. Kickin'. My eyes were burned recently. I saw a bumper sticker that said "God, Guns, Country and Hockey too!" For the love of Jerry Lee Lewis. Is it possible to sound more redneck? To make matters more hilarious this sticker also read "McCain/Palin 08"; for the bonus funnies someone had attempted to take it off but that red blooded American sticker held on like a fat, beer drinking, grass chewing hick holds on to his gun. Man what a metaphor. As a side note, I just want to say I love "McCain/Palin 08" stickers that are still on cars. They are just a beautiful representation of the typical American stereotype. But lets throw this bumper sticker's manufacturer a bone and try this out mathematically. God + Guns ≠ America. Country + Hockey ≠ America. Okay so this isn't looking good, lets keep working. God + Guns = Terrorists. Oh man, not good. I'm afraid to go on. Country + Hockey = Canada. Heaven's to betsy! That man was a Canadian terrorist! Someone call the Pentagon! (I don't have their number anymore. It's kind of a long story. I mean, we dated, once. I tried to kiss the Pentagon at the end of the night, but apparently the Pentagon doesn't put out on the first date) Wow, I guess anyone can be a terrorist these days. Who knew the Canadians would come after us? Me. Thats right. I knew. It makes sense. We have football, cheese burgers, gross overweight people and gross underweight people (for balance), government wire tapping, and to top it off Hummers. Bam. Suck it Canada. All they have is Hockey (as we discovered above) and maple syrup. Sure, thats a stereotype but lets be honest. Its true. (I'm just kidding Canada. Seriously, please accept my citizenship application. I really want free health care and I kinda wanna to learn French. I can recite the first two words of "O Canada". See? Take me. Please) What is the lesson of the day? Don't trust bumper stickers to be mathematically true, be cautious when traveling in the south because Canadian terrorists reside there, and I have submitted a fake citizenship application to the Canadian Office of Citizenship just to make this blog factually true. Thats how much I love you.

P.S. I just realized I have been getting comments on these gratuitous blabberings. I do read them and keep them coming. I love reading about myself. It is the only form of self-esteem building I get. (Lie)

Travis