The one about Stupid Shirts

I don't know what it is about stupidity that sparks creativity in me, but it does. I was surfing the net like any geek does on a Friday night. (Don't judge me.) I came upon a typical 'funny' shirt website. My eyes drifted from shirt to shirt. Pun this, frat joke that. Then I found this little gem 'With a shirt like this, who needs pants?' Cleaver? Maybe. Wearable? No. This shirt is kinda funny, I'll give it that. However, you can not wear pants while wearing this shirt. Seriously. People will think you are a bigger jackass for wearing pants whilst wearing this shirt. So you have the choice of being a gigantic flaming idiot or being a pant-less pervert. Now, all this could be averted by not buying the shirt, but it's the principle of the thing. So if you own the shirt, what did you do? Really, please contact me if you own and wear the shirt. I want to know. This question has been burning in my oversized brain for like seven minutes.

But that shirt isn't the only example, what about the ones that say "How to keep a idiot busy...(read back)" back says, you guessed it "How to keep a idiot busy...(read front)". Genius. Pure, artistry. (Lie) But boy, do guys (let's be honest, only guys wear these kinds of shirts) look uneducated wearing these bargain bin shirts. They just look unapproachable. Like your IQ will drop dangerous levels if you speak to them. Thats why I always kick those guys in the shins right away when I see them. I have to protect my intellect. However, I'll admit I did at one point own a shirt of this type. By type I mean a 'Social Involvement Shirt' (and I swear to God Dane Cook, if you steal that I'll stab you in the nose). This is any kind of shirt that invites others to comment or chuckle in some little way. My shirt however was a 'Anti-Social Involvement Shirt'. It gained this classification because it read 'Stop reading my shirt.' That my friend is amazing. It puts the inevitable reader in an awkward spot. They want to comment, but if they do they are ignoring your humble request. But there is always the pompous lowlife that does comment. 'Ha, nice shirt man.' I just glare, as if to say 'Can't you read?!' Which is a highly ironic thing to say. Clearly the person can read, for they thought your shirt was funny. However, if they can read why can't they understand your plea? Ignorance I suppose. Anyway, the lesson here children is when you encounter a person with a stupid shirt, kick them in the shins, unless their shirt says not to read it. In which case you should look away quickly and pretend like you saw nothing. That would be most polite.

Travis