The one about The Mission

As I am sure you have noticed. I am white. Very white. But for some reason when late night hits I love to force my iTunes (against it's will) to play Hip Hop. There is just something about dancing in the dark when no one can see you. I just thought how funny the previous sentence could be if "dancing" was replaced with "killing" or "making counterfeit money". So as I write this I am dancing the robot and lawnmower to Hip Hop. Jealous? Yes, I mean being jealous of a white kid dancing by himself in his room, in kakis and birkenstocks. Whatever. Tonight was a special night. I had awoke this morning with the exciting self-assigned mission to watch "The Incredible Hulk" circa 2008 with my new surround sound I got from Santa. (Thanks mythical jackass who ruined my childhood) Having finished this amazing piece of theatrical beauty I thought back to Ang Lee's "Hulk" circa 2003. I had seen this film five years ago and fell asleep during it. The only film ever that wins the completely worthless prize of being better than Nyquil. So I decided to watch the film. I jumped on to my favorite movie streaming site and began the fun (torture). I soon realized, five minutes into the seven minute intro, why the "Hulk" film adaption had been remade. Ang Lee's version is comparable to if Satan and Ron Jeremy made a child and that child ate a baby seal while they are both simultaneously being fed into a wood chipper and the "baby-seal chips" are being shot into an Alzheimer suffering, blind, elderly woman who wondered away from her home. It's bad. In fact, I couldn't watch it. Literally. I turned it off after 17 minutes of nothing. No action, no boobs, no Hip Hop. I've never seen any of Ang Lee's films. I don't count "Hulk" since I physically can't watch it. Falling asleep or otherwise. I don't plan to dip into any of Ang Lee's films ever again. Unless I need to put my self into a two hour coma or if I can't get a woman to leave my house. Ang Lee's "Hulk" should be the new form of "enhanced interrogation" the government loves to talk about. Just strap the poor bastard in. Thats just awful, no one deserves that.  

Travis